The idea we built arround an absence.

I have decided that Life is fickle.
It likes to make you think, stop, choose, make a deduction, and then let you know you are wrong.
It happens all the time. You find out what is the best way to act in a certain type of situation, but then life points out that other people have other opinions, and different points of view.
One may be thinking that they have a really awesome friend. The two are really close, but then the next thing s/he knows, the friend only seems irritated at his/her presence.
Sometimes a person thinks they know someone...then they are floored when the person they where positive they know does something they never would have expected. Sometime something that hurts them.

Maybe fickle isn't the right word...Life is cruel or malicious. Unfair, "a bitch", devious... maybe I simply waste my time trying to find a word. Maybe none of the words work because rather than providing a definition, they place boundaries.
Providing a word as the walls that confine what it can be. It can't be anything else, because I gave it those boundaries. I used that word, I said it, I can't take it back.
Its like the meaning of life. No matter who suggests what the meaning of life may be...none of them seem to be correct. No matter how much logic is put into explaining it.
This is because its missing something, any definition to the meaning of life gives us a claustrophobic feeling...It doesn't touch us in that space that seems to be empty. Empty because we are devoid of meaning. Empty because we have created the idea of the meaning of life. Or rather, the hole where the meaning of life should be.
If we keep that hole close to us, we feel its emptiness. We long to fill it, and give ourselves a purpose.
Yet if we keep the hole far from us...push it away or brush it off, we aren't bothered. Those who do not dwell on the meaning of life, do
not worry about the meaning of life, and do not despair.
Does this make them ignorant? Even purposefully so? Is it a fear that keeps them from even touching the subject that weighs so heavily on our mind?
Or is it a wise choice? They keep themselves safe. They stay away from the pain.
Life is Fickle...I guess that is the right word. Not the only word - not a boundary - but an ingredient. An ingredient to which I now...seem to be havening a bad reaction.

I wrote this, in actuality, over a year and a half ago. I've put it one other place on the internet, but I thought it belonged here... so here it is.